We have all wished we were a little bit older, wiser...perhaps taller, or more beautiful. Well, I have! I also just realized that the intro to this post might as well start like this...
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller...
Right? Who doesn't want to be a tall baller? I'm getting side tracked...if you look back to your childhood, what did you aspire to be?
When I was ten I wanted to be an Artist. I dreamed of painting on a balcony, and filling galleries with my creations. When I was thirteen I wanted to be a professional soccer player. When I was eighteen I wanted to be a Travel Journalist, devoting my life to the story. When I was twenty I decided that I would be married by twenty five, with two kids before thirty. During each of these stages (as far as I knew), this was the direction towards my dreams!
Now what about the expectations that come along with these chapters in life? What will you be? Where will you go? Never mind that...what about, will you get married? Settle down and start your career? Buy a home?
How did I get here? Can I rewind?
"Why are we so worried about the Hurry?"
How we see our future, and our expectations for what this should look like, is greatly influenced by the way we were raised. Our parents relationship, their roles in the household, and their belief systems influence us whether we like it or not! We suck in all of their positive and negative messages that they project onto us (whether it may be directly or indirectly), and then we form our identity based on these "truths" (e.g. what life is all about, how a marriage should be...the role of work and success in our lives etc). I consider these patterns of thinking our "truths" because they appear in our minds as such: "This must be true, because that's how I have always perceived it to be". Consider for a second what YOUR "truths" might be? Also consider How these truths influence your perception of a Happy or Ideal Future.
After identifying this pattern of thought, I slowly began to notice the overwhelming influence my "truths" had over my life. Here are just a couple harmful truths that I identified:
After identifying these internalized thought patterns that had been shaping my life, I realized that the most pronounced result was a total lack of choice. Choice has a profound impact on our limited adult minds that are so caught up in "the hurry". Choice is... "what feels true or right for me" in the most compassionate, self-loving sense of the word "me".
Maybe I formed my perspective of relationships because my mother was left on her own to raise me. Maybe, my perspective of having to take care of myself also comes from the abandonment I experience. But...it's okay. It's okay to learn that these thoughts do not shape you. It's also okay to have moments of weakness Or just completely lose it! We have the freedom to learn in our own unique way, what is right for us...right now.
What Feels Right For ME?
Here I am at age 28, and I never got to become a professional soccer player, but I still love to kick the ball around! I do not have a Gallery for my Art, but it isn't any less meaningful. I didn't become a journalist, but writing is a therapeutic passion I adore.
I did get married, not at twenty five, but at twenty seven, and I am in no hurry to meet my deadline of two children before thirty. And all of these new "truths" are totally okay, because they were my choices...untethered, and free.
For the twenty-something year olds out there that are worried about those deadlines, it will happen. Not on your friends terms or your parents. Remember you always have a choice...so slow down, show yourself compassion, and be grateful for whatever situation it is, whether it be a wedding, a new job, new chapter.
What I want to say is that I hope you choose the path that is right for you. Recognize those thought patterns that are holding you stagnant, and let go. Your age is your age and you cannot write your journey according to your childhood truths or someone else's ideals. Be content with the differences between you and others.
When you find your true inner voice, free of old truths that limit your existence... THAT is when life begins! So hold on, or let go...do both, or press pause, it's your choice!
Hi! My name is Amber, I am a wife and mother to Piper June. Welcome to my blog. You will find my path towards natural health and wellness as well as my honest discoveries as a new mother. In all aspects of life, I strive to cultivate Balance through a mindful existence. I share my experiences as a mother, helpful product reviews and companies that I am passionate about for our family. I am so grateful for your visit xo